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The Dirt - Did I do the right thing? |
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The Dirt - The Male Perspective by Duane Whitlock
Yesterday
I was sitting at Starbucks having a very interesting conversation
over a very hot passion tea with a friend of mine. We were debating a
letter that I got from a young woman living in Fredericksburg,
VA. She wrote me that she was involved with a guy whom she deeply loved
and still loves deeply to this day. The female, who we will call "Sarah”,
described herself as a young 21 year old, with a high school education,
still living at home with her mother, working at a minimum wage job. The
boyfriend (we will refer to him as "Ed") she described as a
single father who has custody of two kids. She stated that he was a
college graduate working towards his Masters, as well as a successful
business manager and entrepreneur, plus he was 11 years her senior. One
week after spending a terrific romantic weekend with her ex, she said
that she had a message from God. The message was an order to end
the relationship because she needed to focus more on her career and
getting into school and less on being in love with Ed.
So the 7-month relationship ended bitterly because Ed felt that she was
not being reasonable with his or his kid’s feelings. The following
week she got drunk and had a wild sexual adventure with the next door
neighbor of Ed.. She proceeded to tell me that her Ed out and took it
upon himself to go to the guy’s house where she was harbored and make
demands for her to come out and explain herself. She was next door
at the neighbor’s house having sex. She told Ed that her reason to
break up was to better herself, and she said that she was sorry, but she
wanted happiness, and being in a structured family environment was not
for her, although she did write in her letter that she wanted to marry
Ed a week prior to the incident. She believes she was right in ending
the relationship and making the choices she made. So my question
is who was right and who was wrong? Before I give my assessment of the
situation I would love to hear your feedback on this matter. |
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UPDATED: Do you love your soul or the money? |
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The Dirt - The Male Perspective by Duane Whitlock
I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she confided in me that she was torn between her baby’s father - whom she has known for 4 years and not to mention who was selected in this year’s NFL draft - or her soul mate whom she has known for a mere 4 months. Here is the breakdown of her situation. My friend and her baby’s father broke up due to a lack of communication and constant arguing. Her newfound friend seems to have all of the qualities that she has been seeking. They also have great conversation and have so much in common that it’s scary. Recently her baby’s father made the suggestion to her that he wanted custody of the baby so that she could continue with her dreams of becoming an actress. This did not sit well with my friend of course, considering the fact that this was all news to her and she never thought that the ex-boyfriend would come at her like this. Her soul mate supported her and they decided that the best thing to do was to be together throughout this drama and become tighter as she would need him the most. Well yesterday she called me and informed me that her ex now wants to retain his family and marry her so that they can raise their 9-month old child together. She is confused at this point because she knows that her life will be financially better with her little boy’s father, but she has never felt love like she felt with her new friend. What should she do? |
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WWKD - What Would Karin Do?
Written by Karin Goodhue
Among my female friends, everyone has her category, whether she admits it or not. There’s ‘the clown’ who makes everyone around her start laughing; ‘the risk-taker’ who’s rash decisions either pay off or lead her to unpleasant situations; ‘the dreamer’ who lives day to day with hopes in her heart but not enough guts to make them happen; ‘the go-getter’ who’s dedication and drive make her successful and respected; ‘the admirer’ who always thinks the grass is greener on the other side; and ‘the giver’ who’s joy in keeping others content causes her to forget her own needs. These are only a few of the many categories that make up my friends, and a lot of other women in this world.
However, a woman does not necessarily fall into just one classification. She might be ‘a dreamer’ one day, and then ‘a go-getter’ the next. Women tend to change their minds and not always know what they want. It is just our nature. Another thing we like to do is talk. And I do not imply talking trash, but just talking to each other. Women seek comfort in discussing their problems and their friends’ problems.
Women are also known to listen to each other and it so happens that many of my girl friends have come to me with their troubles. Among the personality categories I mentioned earlier, I am deemed ‘the responsible one’. When they ask me for advice, I simply tell them my personal experience dealing with that situation or what I would do if faced with it. That problem-solving technique then led to the birth of the philosophy ‘WWKD’ or ‘What Would Karin Do?’ My best friend, Allison, invented it, uses it when she needs guidance in her everyday life, and it spread. Friends will contact me and ask advice for simple things such as “I need to buy a new couch - WWKD?” to more complex things such as “I found out my boyfriend is seeing someone else - WWKD?”
I am not a therapist, preacher, attorney or physician, but simply a woman who has lived responsibly, listens, and offers opinions based on what I would do if faced with similar circumstances. On that note, I would like to branch out of my circle of friends and offer my advice to the readers of GAL Magazine, and give you the chance to write in your questions to me. Simply submit your questions ending with ‘WWKD’ to:
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for your chance to be heard.
I would like to start these segments with a problem facing one of my dear friends. She and I talked in detail about this, and I would like to share it with you. She kindly wrote her concern down for me to use as my first column: |
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GAL Magazine - NEW Column WWKD |
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GAL Magazine would like to introduce our new
column WWKD - "What Would Karin Do?" Meet Karin Goodhue.
Karin Goodhue graduated with a BA in Mass Communication
from UNC-Asheville. She currently works full-time in Television Promotions. In
2005, two events occurred, changing her life indefinitely. Her house in
Asheville caught on fire and she met her soon to be husband. The fire caused her
to lose everything she owned, but everybody survived and she learned the true
meaning of altruism. She moved into an apartment where she later met the love of
her life, Stephen. Technically, they met on match.com, but were baffled to learn
that they lived in the same complex. Unfortunately the same day as their first
date, his job scheduled to transfer him to Greenville NC. Fortunately, Karin
followed him three months later. He proposed on Christmas Day 2008, and they
plan to wed in St. Thomas December 2009. They have a seven-year old yellow lab
named Merlin and many close family and friends. Among them, Karin has written
articles about her brother-in-law Justin Andrews, diagnosed with Stage IV Lung
Cancer. He is in the fight of his life, and she remains an active member of
Justin’s Fight Club by attending walks and wearing his white bracelet every
day. It is a difficult time for the family, but without positive thinking and
belief in a miracle, one can easily falter. In the words of her sister, Kristy:
“JUSTIN IS HEALTHY… SPEAK IT, THINK IT, AND BELIEVE IT!”
Karin knows joy and hardship, love and loss. Her
experiences help aid the WWKD column. She is not professionally licensed, but
simply advises based on her own life, responsibility and knowledge. WWKD has
helped her friends, and she owes a lot of it to her best friend Allison for
establishing it. Karin hopes that GAL readers will benefit from her stories and
advice. Just e-mail your problems to
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and check back often to see if you’ve been answered!
*Photo ⓒ GAL Magazine
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Trials and Tribulations of a Pregnant Chef |
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Written by Christine Campbell
Wine. Sushi. Beautiful raw stinky French cheese. Gourmet home-roasted and blended coffee. *Sigh.*
This is the part of being pregnant that I knew I would hate.
As a chef and food writer, my life has always centered around food and the art of pushing the envelope with what people would eat. My industry would be nowhere without adventurous individuals who tried new things and lived to tell the tale. However, six months ago (almost 7 now), my life was no longer All About Me. My life suddenly became All About the Small Being in My Belly; the hedonistic part of me had to be retired and the new, improved, responsible me came out to discover what life had to offer. |
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