Well they always say that love conquers all, so if she feels it's the point of no return with her ex and things are NOT going to get better than she should move on but she says this guy is her soulmate she also needs to realize can she trust this guy with her kid (her ex IS in the nfl so he better not be stupid). Money doesn't always buy happiness so if she can truly trust this man with her child then they should be together if not then she should get away from both of them for a while to decide her life i hope this helped.
myspace.com/bigrog6395 


Honestly. i would stick with the soul mate. The baby's daddy does not sound like he knows what he wants. if there is constant arguing that will not stop and possibly get worse. seems to me the baby's daddy got jealous and wants her back because she is happy with another guy and this guy could possibly raise this child as his own. I say stick with the one that makes her happy. Seems like he's the obvious better choice.
myspace.com/puruco 


Two quick points....(1) he's an ex for a reason (2) the financial aspect is always a good thing butttt happiness is something you can't put a price tag on...
myspace.com/shermbrax

This is just my opinion. the whole situation is crazy. im not knocking love but u can't say u really wanna love some1 after just knowin them a few months. im not sayin it can't happen but u don't know the real person yet. when a guy 1st meets a girl there 1st thoughts are sex and how fast they can get it. now after we meet a girl we can change our objectives tho.
now as far as the baby father and her, money isn't everythin so she could have all the money and still be miserable. granted she wants 2 do it 4 her family but that may not be what's best. also the ex could easily just be upset she has moved on and just wants 2 keep her 2 himself. almost like being jealous.
as far as my true opinion after sayin all this. I would say neither 4 now. wait it and see who seems 2 be more true and genuine. love is great but it hurts 2 fall from it. its almost like the timeless question, money or love. its just said in a more modern way. if the ex truly wants 2 be with her he'll prove it. if the new guy truly wants her then he'll still be around regardless cuz he truly wants her. which ever 1 of the 2 shows that that's not what's best 4 her and the child, then they are the weakest link, goodbye.
I hope this has helped some. split decisions are not good if made on a spirt and that takes time and thought.
myspace.com/justralex 


I say go with the true love. The baby's daddy is only stepping up because he sees her becoming happy. Never let materialist items getting in the way with your true feelings. None the less the Baby's daddy will always be responsible for the child so he should still be set up for life. Plus on top of that, the NFL isn't guaranteed to keep him around. He could lose his contract next year. Ya know.

Go with the true love. Not everyone gets a chance to experience it, so she should suck it up and enjoy it.
myspace.com/chapel70
KENJO 


The age old question is "What's love got to do with it?" Not trying to be a jerk here but it's no longer about your friend. She now has a child to think about. She needs to do what's best for the baby. This is the real world and not a fairy tale. 
myspace.com/bigdoh24


This is very simple, her ex is trying to avoid paying support. In his current situation, just getting picked & being that the child is only 9 months. He has realized that the system is going to rape him. You should let your friend know that truly great relationships are not easily found & if she feel good about the person she's with now, it'll be stupid to walk away. Financial security is not always better. That just mean she would have to deal with whatever he wants to put her through(it's his money). He is her ex for a reason & if the realtionship couldn't work out when they were closer to being equal providers, what do she believe will be the results when the finances begins to seem one sided( I doubt that she's making NFL money)or if he wants to throw out there that it's money that he made and not hers. Speaking from my own personal experience, I feel that she will be better off building a life with the one that make her feel as though she compliment & completes their relationship. In short, Together they are a One & neither is higher in the relationship.

RealiDee
Richmond, Va
myspace.com/realidee 


I would take a deep breath and do it myself, her ex is a looser sorry and the new friend seems nice is he willing to be there for your friend all the way iff so forget the looser ex and go with the nlf dude. my opinion 
myspace.com/muppr1


Heres what I think. First of all this girl and the father of her child split for a reason. Then he first comes at her with I want to have the baby because i want you to live your dream. Then when that didnt work he came at her with oh well i want to marry you and have a family. That makes no sense at all. This seems to be a form of control. I dont want you to be with noone else kinda thing. This guy is using the baby against the mom. Which he knows is her soft spot. She needs to remember that they split for a reason. If this other guy her new love is standing with her and its everything she wants then it should be a no contest. Money vs. Love. Sadly, alot of the times money wins. But you have to think about the long run here for herself and her baby. Do you want your baby to go through arguements and fights? Do you want to be unhappy and just have some money? First of all, depending on this guy number he was picked in the draft hes not going to be getting a crap load of money. Will he be rich, most likly but not much. Then on top of that, he can get hurt and then his career could be over and then no money and then just fights all the time again. Look in this life you make choices some good and some bad. But if you have a good guy that is there for you and cares for you. And loves your baby and you through all of this. And both of you dont have problems like you did with the other guy. Then its a no brainer. You can always make money and become stable in that. When you love somebody you will go through anything and everything with them. The new guy seems like he is willing to go through everything and anything for this girl. And he seems to be willing to take care of both of them. I would work out some type of custody with the real father so the baby can know the dad. But if she is looking to follow her dream she can get people to take care of the baby. The father should be giving money for the baby anyway. So really the money shouldnt be the issue. Follow your heart, follow your feelings. And it seems to me that she is with the right guy.
Alex


My personal thought is to not make a decision based on income a better decision is to wait for so she can clearly see what options she truly has.
myspace.com/sunlandsfinest


If the other guy ncan take care of them then i say go for it,if he struggling then she should be stable with the nfl guy then bounce later on
myspace.com/fatcat220


Well first i think that there is no such thing as a soulmate because of the fact that she thinks that he is because he treats her nice, makes her feel loved, and supports her through everything. Now she only knows this guy for 4 months but that's how it starts in the beginning of a new relationship, it's like starting a new job you like it for a while but then it gets old and boring. So of course she is gonna think that he is her soulmate until they add up time together and it gets old and they start fighting and they get sick of each other and now she's not so sure he is her soulmate anymore and that's when the breakup comes. Ok for the other part i think she should listen to her heart, the heart gives the best advice. She should do what makes her happy if she does not love her baby's daddy but if there is still love there she should analyze the situation carefully beacuse they have a baby together. But that shouldn't back her into a corner where she must be with him beacuse they have a child together, if there is no love there she should do what is best for her and the baby. She can go to court and maintain full custody and he will have visitation rights. That will be best for her in my opinion. But she should try and have a mutual friendship with the father of her child so that the child will grow up in a non-hostile environment. They should come to understandings together and be involved deeply in their child's life, as far as schooling, religion, and other activities. They should communicate alot with each other about the child but nothing should be discussed about their current relationships this only causes more drama. He should be vigilant though about her new boyfriends personality and habits just to be on the safe side. Everything should be in legal documents and filed in court, this is better. That is my opinion, I hope you like it.
myspace.com/lowesteemer



The child is the most important consideration. The father can and should help through joint custody and financial contribution. Happiness comes from the people we share our lives with not from the numbers in our bank account or the stuff that fills our house. Her soul mate might just be Mr Right Now, only time will tell. However her ex is probably Mr To Much Stress, especially considering the child. The money alone is not worth it. I would rather raise a child in a happy lower middle class home than an unhappy upper class home. Both parents will have to make sacrifices, but an unhappy marriage wont help anyone. Go with love.
myspace.com/308182356

Duane Whitlock is a music artist (crunk and R&B), a songwriter, a graduate student, and a single dad!  "The Dirt" is an advice column for entertainment purposes ONLY.  Mr. Whitlock is not a licensed counselor but offers his take on the social scene from a male perspective.  If you would like to contact or pose a question to Mr. Whitlock please email him directly at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it