| Girl Fight |
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Written by Laura Eddy During the course of my last girls night out, as my friends and I wandered downtown Wilmington in search of drink specials and tall-dark-and-handsomes, we witnessed that most outrageous of drunken disputes, the notorious “girl-fight”. I didn’t realize the situation until I was literally up to my neck in it-- the sidewalk was crowded, and as I sidled on through, I heard the word “WHORE!” spit out with enough venom to poison an elephant. Although I hadn’t done anything (on that particular night, at least) which would warrant such an reaction, I nevertheless looked for the accuser. She was a very pretty, petite 20-something and as followed the line of her glare, I realized she was staring down a woman on the sidewalk next to me. Both women were well-dressed, attractive, and obviously did not accept money for sex, so I was baffled. During the course of the first woman’s next outburst, the bare outline of the situation became somewhat clearer- so and so was someone’s man, and had apparently fallen prey to the charms of woman number two. But since woman number two was a slutty no good such and such, she obviously did not deserve the gentleman in question. This, in fact, was exactly what woman number one was trying to make clear to her competition, in no uncertain terms. Within a couple of minutes, I had heard the words “slut” “whore”, and “ho” at least five times a piece. All this made me wonder- how can we females, especially Southern females, do this to one another? Let’s be honest, ladies- this is not fair fighting. Think back on any bar brawl you’ve ever seen between two males. In my experience, the insults that are traded back and forth usually involve the participants ability to back up what they are saying. Think along the lines of “ Oh, you’re talking smack?” or “So you think you’re a hard-ass?” or “Little boy got some big words”. In no way do these exchanges enter the realm of one’s sexual habits, even when the fight is over a girl. I’m sure that perhaps occasionally the size of one’s member may be debated in these battles, but honestly, these remarks are nowhere near as cutting as one woman’s naming another a whore. Since men who mention another male’s private parts in public would immediately invite accusations of homosexuality, the issue is not one usually raised. It goes without saying that to try and attack a male’s sexual habits on grounds of frequency is ridiculous. There are no male whores, only “studs”. But since this conundrum would set me off on an entirely different tangent, let’s move on. For men, the jibe which would come close to equal the accusation of “whore” in a female arena would be “two-minute man”. Just try and imagine one man throwing this title at another in the midst of a barroom brawl-- now imagine the bar-wide silence which would ensue after such an exchange. All the accused man would have to say would be “how would you know?” and the argument would be put to rest . According to mainstream culture, a woman’s sexual habits can be determined in public, by the way we interact with men. This notion, couple with the widespread yet unspoken assumption amid Southern culture that a woman’s sexual restraint is someone coupled with her worth as a person, makes this area of a woman’s life a prime target for those who want to strike at a girl’s weak spot. As much as we would like to believe it, the old saying “words can never hurt me” couldn’t be farther from the truth. Language is probably the most insidious weapon in existence. The hurtful comments or names that are launched at us get into our heads, and fester in our minds, lodging there and coming back to haunt us when our self-esteem gets low, or when we feel most vulnerable. We should think twice, even when we are most furious, before throwing around words that strike so deep. -------------Submitted by Laura Eddy of Wilmington, NC |
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