Written by Debbie Panell

I’ll admit it. I’ve been on dating sites. Ok, just one. Fine. Two. But I have to imagine they are all pretty similar. I’m picky. I know it. I’m able to express myself with words, and took great pride in my profile. Now when I say I’m picky, I do NOT mean I am picky when it comes to the kind of guy (as in job or appearance) but rather picky about how he expresses himself with words. This largely has to do with the fact that I’m a writer and place high emphasis on being able to communicate with more than two syllable grunts. It’s one thing to say you have a sense of humor, but to actually SHOW me is what will get my attention. With that in mind, I’ve compiled a list of do’s and don’ts in your online dating adventure…

• People are going to read this! So, don’t say anything you wouldn’t want on the front page of your local newspaper. Don’t sound superficial. It’s unattractive. If you only want to date supermodel material, that’s fine…but don’t SAY it. Simply ignore the one’s who don’t meet your (internal) criteria!
• Adjectives are for those who can’t think. “ nice, warm, funny, caring”….BORING. Everyone is that. Be yourself. Be different. Let them see your personality in your description and not read Webster’s Thesaurus of adjectives.
• Do you know how many people I’ve seen with profiles that list their activities as Skydiving, rock climbing, weight lifting, music and movies? Let me take another big sigh and repeat…BORING! Especially when it’s “too” extreme. If in fact you do these things say it another way…” Got my scuba diving certification last summer and can’t wait to get to the beach” or something else very relevant to the stated hobby that makes it seem as though you really DO partake in it. The odds of finding someone else who does, or wants to do, these things will be higher if you sound knowledgeable and that you do actually do it.
• Everyone wants honesty, likes to laugh and have a good time, and is tired of playing games. Everyone. Let’s find something else to say, shall we?
• Clichés are just that – cliché. Don’t use them. Their absence alone buys you points!
• Don’t tell me what you don’t want. No one wants a liar a cheat or a jobless bum with no ambition. If you can’t maintain an upbeat and fun profile, how is anyone going to expect you to be upbeat and fun on a date?
• Spell check is your friend! Use it! The re-read your ad. A minimum of five times. Then have five different friends read it, five times each. I guarantee your friends will see things you missed. And things spell check doesn’t catch and I guarantee you’re going to be happy to have the extra eyes! And if you don’t know why I have “your” and “you’re” in bold, you need to go back to Fifth grade English class.

Keep it fun, keep it simple. Don’t lie about yourself. Remember, you are not perfect, so don’t expect perfection from someone else!

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Debbie Panell is a full time freelance writer who lives near Raleigh, North Carolina with her two children, German Shepherd and multiple cats.